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"The Ugly Stepsister" turns Cinderella into a horror masterpiece

Recently a new body horror movie has hit the market, and although it was really hard to find in theaters, I was able to catch it on shudder. If you haven’t heard of it yet, “The Ugly Stepsister” is a new body horror movie that was promised to make viewers throw up while watching it. In short it focuses on the Grimm's fairy tale version of Cinderella but told from the point of view of the stepsister, Elvira, who in this version is made to undergo crude and painful cosmetic procedures by her mother to make her beautiful and hopefully marry the prince. There’s giant tapeworms, eyelash sewing, and nose breaking. With all the promotion I’ve seen about it and the Cronenberg comparisons I was incredibly excited for it, but did it live up to the expectations I had? Not really, but it’s still one of the best movies to come out this year and one of my favorite movies right now. For people who can’t watch it or are worried about it being too gross, here's the recap. The movie begins w...
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"Pontypool" is massive dissapointment

                 " it's not the end of the world folks. It's just the end of the day" The world won't end with a virus, but words alone. “Pontypool” is a low budget Canadian zombie film that supposedly “reinvents” the genre itself. Now, e very time a new zombie film comes out it feels like it gets the title of reinventing the genre if it's a little original, with good gore. So, is “Pontypool” worth all of the hype? The film starts with three main characters, these are really the only characters you're going to have any opinions on throughout the film. The three are a part of a radio broadcast and are going about their job on an average valentines day. The main character, Grant Mazy, is our show host and is in charge of keeping listeners up to date on the latest news. Grant is still shaken up from the opening scene where he's startled by a woman speaking nonsense, and asks his listeners for help on what he should do. Not long in, the cr...

"Inside" is an intense piece of French horror

Think of a really effed-up version of home alone, like if instead of Chris Columbo it was directed by a serial killer. Whatever you’re imagining is still probably a bit tamer than this following film but, probably close enough. “Inside” is a new wave French extremity film that follows a woman named Sarah, who recently lost her husband in a car crash, with her being the only survivor. Now it’s Christmas Eve and her baby is due any minute, when a woman arrives at her doorstep and ultimately breaks into her house wielding a pair of scissors, and it’s up to Sarah to save herself. The French extremity movement is known for its intensity and this film is no different, it’s 83 minutes straight of gore and scenes that will never let you look at scissors the same again. BĂ©atrice Dalle plays the attacker in such a way that I’m a little scared of her now, her movements alone are terrifying and so calculated. Dalle’s character is focused on obtaining this, seemingly strangers, baby, and she’s ...

"cannibal campout" film review

  “What's more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies? One live one on the bottom eating its way out.” Guerrilla filmmaking is at its finest in this 80s’ teenage cannibal flick! “Cannibal Campout” is a cheap horror film that follows a group of teens being terrorized by a group of 3 cannibals, who they had two separate chances to totally avoid, but if they did that we wouldn’t have a movie would we. Within the first 10 minutes, we are introduced to our pretty uninteresting main characters, and we’re told that one dead baby joke every dude says to prove his “edgy” sense of humor. The group of teens is warned of people who recently went missing in the area they are headed, and even have a run in with the three cannibals, but still are adamant on having a good camping trip.  This movie was filmed guerrilla style so no permits were actually received and the director/main character had to make sure none of the cast was shot by a confused officer. From what we can assume, all ...

"The Machine Girl" movie review

“ The Machine girl,” a 2008 film, not to be confused with Machine Girl the musical artist, is an intense Japanese horror comedy directed by Noboru Iguchi. Despite its middling reviews, it gained quite the following. To me, the idea of a girl with a machine gun arm is pretty sick, and Ash WIlliams-esque, so despite poor reviews I had high hopes for this movie. Ami, our main character, is a regular two-armed girl, until one day her brother is found dead on the sidewalk along with his friend. After discovering her brother was a victim of the murderous son of a brutal ninja-yakuza family, she decides violence is the only possible option. She enacts her brutal revenge plan, losing an arm on the way, but luckily finding a guy who makes her the sickest robotic arm known to man. Ami is engrossed in a bloody world of drill bras, a weapon that rips people's heads off like a claw machine picking up a stuffed animal, and a brief appearance chainsaw leg. She’s not the innocent high school g...

Antiviral: Celebrity obsession gone too far

In a world full of celebrity obsession, how far would you go to be close to your idol? Would you go so far as injecting yourself with the same viruses or diseases as them, or maybe eating meat made from their regrown cells? The movie Antiviral directed by Brandon Cronenberg, the son of the talented horror director, David Cronenberg, explores this idea in an interesting and bloody way.  Antiviral follows a young man named Syd March, played by Caleb Landry Jones, who is employed at a company called The Lucas Clinic. This clinic he works for is focused on taking viruses and other bugs from celebrities who have fallen ill in order to inject them into fans. Fans do this as a way to feel more connected with their favorite celebrity. However, the clinic must not pay well, as we see that Syd is injecting himself with the viruses secretly, using his body as an incubator in order to sell the viruses on the black market. He brings the viruses to Arvid, an employee of astral bodies, which is a...

Why Hollywood hates horror

When it comes to horror, a lot of people tend to think about Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, or maybe Ghostface. Maybe you’ve never watched these movies, or maybe you even hate horror, but nonetheless the names are known by almost everyone. Horror movies have always been a big thing, no matter how controversial. Throughout the many years of the Oscars, only six horror films have ever been nominated for best picture, Silence of the Lambs being the only one to ever actually win. Many people argue over this movie being wrongly labeled as a horror, and instead saying it should be classified as a thriller. Though it seems that if any horror movie gets awarded an Oscar, people seem to argue for it to be labeled as a thriller or, by a newer term, elevated horror. Elevated Horror is a newer term to refer to movies in which they are more dramatic and intelligent than most horrors. Now, the term Elevated Horror caused a stir amongst horror fans, as most people have used it as a way to put down ...